The earliest time in my life when I remember hearing that word being said to me and my first thought was perplexity. I heard it in my parents’ house and couldn’t decipher what it meant. I believe I used it myself around the age of 14 toward a girl I was sweet on and noticed a reaction from her. Her reaction upon hearing me say ‘I love you’ was of teenage glee and closeness. Needless to say I, at that time, didn’t possess the knowledge or the depth of understanding about love to reconcile the word into appropriate interaction with her.
So, I’m going to tell everybody what I’ve learned about love, but I must warn you it is not going to be without concrete behavioral mandates that symbolizes each party to it knows the seriousness of that powerful human covenant.
Let’s get the mistakes out of the way first. ‘I love you’ is often spoken after two people have engaged in sexual activity. Although sex may be cast as the villain of love when it is deployed in this manner, I beg to differ with this description and any resulting negativity attached to it. In this instance, it’s like putting love in an oven at 400 degrees and taking a nap, but you awaken to a smoky room and a fire alarm.
The reciprocal nature of love embodies symmetry. Now, requirements range from courtesy and respect to being disciplined about expending human capital which means time, commitment and denying all others who may want your love as well, in a spousal accord that is. Family love is different, as it should be, because authority and responsibility to nurture, protect, and teach are critical to raising a child that understands when and how to use love to strengthen his or her life.
The destroyers of love are deceptive and cunning with their true objective unbeknownst to their target. Their target is confusion. Many women and men are incapable of finding love because they’ve spent valuable time and energy with people who’ve muddied the waters concerning the true nature of love. These people have polluted their minds while in these relationships so bad that even when actual love should appear right in front of them; they are rendered incapable of recognizing it.
Yes people, you bear the traits and attitudes of the people you chose to love. If you are with a person that steps out (cheats with other people) on an agreed upon commitment, your ideas about love start to change and mimic the behaviors of the person you’re with. This is the moment when love starts being redefined in your mind. Oh, don’t let this relationship linger for years. It is dam near impossible except for a determined person to realize the error of their ways and get away from such a person.
Now to the concrete characteristics of love which are critical in the application of love in the real world. When one partner or both partners in a relationship share responsibility financially, then love is tangible because bills and needs are being met. A spouse coming home to their loved one shows commitment and loyalty. If there are children in the relationship, then they are going to need things as well to live and thrive in the home and at school. Food, clothing, shelter, medicine and various other things that are natural for life on this Earth.
I know this may sound harsh, but if a person cannot take ownership of the mistakes they’ve made concerning the power of love; then I suggest that that person is not worthy enough for anybody to waste their precious time on. If you are treating a person the way they are supposed to be treated and they still are unruly and rebellious to you as if you were the person that hurt them. I say you should think about cutting your loses and moving on because your own mind is susceptible to being warped about love also.
Love demonstrates itself everyday. Love gets out of bed and goes to work even though you are hurt and aching all over. Love divides up the remaining food in the house so everyone gets a share. Love says no when the finances are out of whack. Love teaches children and guides them to a strong, wise and independent life because that is a parent’s job. Love makes no excuses when a wrong is committed.
Love has the foresight to make a judgment call on where resources are needed to improve the family’s quality of life. Love tells someone when they are headed down the wrong path. Love doesn’t overlook the deeds of a child whether they are pure and right or whether they are wrong which subject them to correction.
Love comes home and brings his or her resources in tow. Love saves money for ‘a rainy day’. Love doesn’t blame politicians for all the ills in their life because Americans do whatever they want; they just don’t like the consequences. Love stands up to family and friends and tells them they are wrong when they promote hatred and evil at home, at work, or in church.
Look, I don’t blame my parents for not teaching me what love is and means to the people who share it and possess it. I remain a soul in search of answers, which I must confess is my accepted lot in life. My conclusion. Love is multi-faceted. It attaches itself to us with multiple tentacles that behave symmetry, which in this way powers us and powers love at the source.
If you are experiencing love down a one-way path, you probably want to stop depriving yourself of the true thing.