(Mother Sayer had long ago scheduled this trip to Sacramento, California to visit and commune with Doyenne and Justus; her daughter and son who’re growing in stature and notoriety in their own places and spaces. Maybe, just maybe the tenet of being ‘faithful’ and living a life directed by ‘decency and order’ pays off in real time for each member of the family. Alas, the time has come around to explain more of the ‘why’ I raised my children in the ways of ‘spirituality’ and ‘sound child rearing’ that certainly included reasonable discipline.)
Mother Sayer: Doyenne are you comfortable in your seat?
Daughter Doyenne: Yes Mother. You know I appreciate you springing for first class and all the amenities that come with it.
Mother Sayer: (A sigh of ‘Hmmm’ pierces her lips as she responds). Doy, I enjoy first class as well, but it is because we’ve earned it and it is reasonable to spend a few extra dollars to not be bothered with cramped seating or trouble focusing our thoughts as we try to grab more room from the person seated beside us.
Daughter Doyenne: Oh course Mother.
Mother Sayer: Your brother will be glad to see you. It’s been what 6 or 7 months since we’ve gotten together to renew our family tenets?
Daughter Doyenne: It’s been half a year since we’ve gotten together with Justus to talk face to face of a deeper scale about what’s been happening in our lives. I do look forward to seeing him again as it does bring me joy.
Mother Sayer: Good. Good. Okay then, we have a little over 4 hours of flying time before we land in California. What drink are you ordering?
Daughter Doyenne: I think I’ll have a glass of red wine to sooth the flight. How are you Mother? What are you having?
Mother Sayer: I’ll have a shot Courvoisier.
Daughter Doyenne: Right. Sorry, I forgot there a minute. You like to cure any possibility of catching a bug along the way.
Mother Sayer: Yes. You may say it as well, but in whispered tones.
Daughter Doyenne: I don’t know the hygiene habits of the people preparing my food or my drinks, but I sure would like to tip the scale a bit in my favor.
Mother Sayer: Precisely. It may be a superstition, but it has been a reliable one.
(Mother Sayer and Doyenne enjoy their choice of inflight meals and washes them down with their choice of beverage. A light conversation ensues, nothing proprietary of course about the ARC, and Mother chooses to catch a few zzzz’s before the flight lands.
The flight reaches SMF and lands without a hitch as the anticipation is now building because Justus is waiting in arrivals to greet his Mother and sister. The plane taxies up to the gate and the pilot soon after tells the passengers they’re authorized to unbuckle, retrieve their carry-on, and depart the aircraft.)
Mother Sayer: Doy, do you have everything?
Daughter Doyenne: Yes Mother. Do you have all you boarded the plane carrying?
Mother Sayer: (Thinks to herself, good she has retained that important lesson. If you’re walking, running, flying or going to the corner store with someone, the point is to look out for each other no matter the status or hierarchical position of the person with you.). Yes, Doy I do. Thanks for looking out for me, as we both should each other.
Daughter Doyenne: I came through my childhood with a few spanked bottoms, but when I achieved the age of ascension I knew I had to learn what’s good for me.
Mother Sayer: (Laughs). Okay Doy, and you did reach for the light after a few rough patches. Now let’s go get our checked bag and be on our way to see Justus.
Daughter Doyenne: (Our checked bag. Mother convinced me to leave my room (the guest room I routinely occupy at my bother’s house) furnished and outfitted with duplicates of the clothes I wear when I’m in my own ‘castle’.). That was one of the best suggestions you’ve ever made to me, as we will come to California often to conduct business and meet Justus for family time.
Mother Sayer: Yes it was and it remains the best option for travellers like us with the situation at airports. The inability of legislatures, federal and state, around the country to figure out the best way to insure the safety of the flying public without insulting our intelligence.
Daughter Doyenne: (I believe Mother has a few ideas she could pass on that includes patrols stationed at critical points along the path to entering the airport. Security at the entrance. Security on the way to the gate. Security pass the screening. Security in the baggage claim. A simple television monitor that shows passengers they are on tape). On the outlook Mother, maybe the right people will review and implement your suggestions. Let’s go.
Mother Sayer: You’re right. Let’s go. We’ve got the one bag each we checked on the plane. Let’s get on with it shall we?
Daughter Doyenne: Lead the way.
Mother Sayer: Right, okay. (Both Mother and daughter walk to the exit area of the airport and meet Justus as he waits by the side of the limousine.)
Justus I. Order: Mother, happy to see you’ve made it safely. Doyenne, how was the flight?
Mother Sayer: It was a little bumpy at times, but all was to my satisfaction. Are we ready to go?
Justus I. Order: Yes Mother. (As he signals the driver to help with the luggage and get the doors and assist with anything the passengers need). Sabella, secure the passengers and let’s get under way.
(Mother and company all climb in the limousine and begin their trip in Sacramento headed to her son’s house to relax and freshen up from the flight.)
Mother Sayer: I want to express to both of you while we are on the way home about how well you kids have grown to be good and respectable adults caring for yourselves in ways that have exceeded even my desires for your lives.
Daughter Doyenne: It is not lost on us how much you wanted us to live a life worthy of our upbringing.
Justus I. Order: I agree with Doy. I didn’t understand fully the rigid routine we were under at times, but I fully understand that the resulting impact on where your children are today proves your methods validity.
Mother Sayer: Good. I am glad because I do not have the time to ponder the what if scenarios of life. Let me be clear. That practice leads to a vein of questioning yourself on every decision you make. It’s like falling into a dual reality where your conscience must approve every decision you want to make. When in actuality all you need is knowledge on the situation, and trust your spirit, your intelligence and your understanding and just ‘make a decision’.
Justus I. Order: (Should I ask her to open my understanding on how she managed to stand firm in her beliefs when I was acting like a fool because I couldn’t play in the state championship game.) Mother, do you remember when you punished me and I didn’t play in any of my high school’s playoff games?
Mother Sayer: Yes at Trinity in Louisville. I remember accurately. Do you think you were being persecuted? In any case make your statement.
Justus I. Order: I didn’t get a chance to experience that feeling of actually competing for something with the team I shared great hardships. Why did you punish me so harshly?
Mother Sayer: Oh, you believe your punishment at the time was not in proportion to the offense you committed is that correct?
Justus I. Order: Yes that’s correct?
Mother Sayer: In order for me to pull up those memories from that time period in our lives. I need to hear from you what led up to my decision to correct your behavior?
Justus I. Order: (I fell right into it. She just led off the conversation tonight about not having time for stupidity basically. I better comply because she has zero tolerance for the practice.) It was right after Dad left for one of his secret missions in the Middle East and we haven’t heard from him since. I was experimenting with cigarettes. You allowed me to have a girlfriend of which I was having sex without protection.
My manners began to deteriorate. For instance, I wasn’t properly greeting you when you came home. I slacked in doing my chores. I began to waste food at dinner when I didn’t eat what I took that was placed out on the table.
Mother Sayer: Stop right there. All those instances you outlined of disorder and disobedience were addressed at the time and you persisted in doing them right?
Justus I. Order: Yes Mother.
Mother Sayer: A decision has ramifications son. Those ramifications can manifest good results in your life or the opposite. You chose to experience the opposite. A seventeen year old absolutely is clear minded and intelligent enough to know that actions by one in a family affects all in that family.
(A metaphor is called for to make my utterance memorable). What are the steps a parent would take to treat a child that is sick with a cold? The parent would seek out a remedy appropriate for the child and administer the dosage for the allotted period of time. The child would then be checked and the parent feeling reasonably certain the child is ‘over’ the cold pronounces the child ‘cured’.
Simple process is it not? Here’s what happens when a child has drifted from ‘decency and order’ established by the parents. The child would be assigned a punishment and length of time it is scheduled to last. The parents, whether male or female, would hear from the child how unfair the punishment is and or succumb to the child’s constant whining to release them from their ‘so-called persecution’.
Let’s analyze the situation for the moment. The child (patient) is sick or ill. The parents have decided on a remedy or cure. The medicine in the correct dosage is administered.
Here’s why the child is never cured of their illness. “The parent stops administering the medicine in the dosage for the prescribed length of time until the child (patient) is cured!” So the child is still ‘infected’ with the ‘bug’ (disorder and disobedience) that caused the illness that led to the prescription ‘punishment’ having to be ordered.
Justus I. Order: I understand now Mother. Through my haze of anger and resentment I should have focused the blame squarely where it lied in the first place. With me. One good thing I know it did for me. It certainly straightened me out but good. I understood from then on that my punishment would be costly for me.
Mother Sayer: Excellent, son. Don’t ever forget the part you play in all that happens in your life. I will suggest to you that you get control up to a healthy 85 or 90 percent. No one ever will be at 100% in control of their life because we will need each other.
Daughter Doyenne: I finally understand why I can sit and listen to you talk for hours Mother. What you have to say means something and the way you use maxims and metaphors allows your utterances to be easily remembered.
Mother Sayer: Thank you Doy. I will tell you what my father expressed to me many years ago. He said, “Se’May, I can’t teach you all you need to know about life. You will develop your own maxims and methods that will enhance and grow to someday soon blossom into that formidable woman the world will admire.”
(The day and night were memorable as it always is when Mother gets together with her children. She is watching her children in her own way, but they are probably unaware that she does it. Mother Se’May Sayer is spiritual and decisive in the actions she believes are ‘directives’ for her and her family.
Do not misunderstand her. Mother’s heart was breaking to see her son not enjoy something he worked hard in achieving. She remembers her vow of faith. “We all must require more of ourselves and being faithful to something higher than ourselves shows our commitment to that vow of faith.”
FAITHFUL: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
I will briefly explain faith and being faithful as I’m developing a post about it to publish in due time. “Faith or faithful is not just believing a spiritual being demands it of us. Being faithful by showing fidelity to a marriage is a good example, but it doesn’t even catch all that being faithful entails.”
“Being faithful means that I will be devoted to good decision making. If I decide to obtain higher education (your parents should be faithful to your education till your high school diploma), I must be devoted to fulfilling my vow to achieve it.”
“Being faithful means that I will maintain a solid and reliable work ethic so that my family or my employer’s dependence on me is not in vain.”
“Being faithful means that I will not be swayed by situations and circumstances because those conditions are always subject to change. My presentation to the world must remain the same. The good man I desire to be must be consistent through good periods and bad periods. A wife, children, parents or people I meet are subject to change. I must accept that and still maintain the man I’ve decided I will be. I must be the same good man everyday.”
Faithful and faith require a great deal of human power. Do not despair though. It becomes embedded in you as you practice it on a daily basis. Grow with it!