Mother Sayer: (Spends her Monday morning going through the list of errands to complete before evening news). “Most of these errands I can assign to my staff, and the task where confidentiality is prized I will handle it personally.”
Mother Sayer: (Settles in her study to relax with a glass of red wine to pour over the business reports from her multiple ventures, she is interrupted by a call from her daughter asking to run a problem by her.)
Mother Sayer: “Oh what a pleasant escape from all this reading I must do. (Mother Sayer detects a bit of imbalance in the natural flow of words from her child). What is it Doyenne?
Daughter Doyenne: “Can I come over if it’s okay. I need to run a problem by you and it vexes me because I can’t see how it could penetrate my defenses so easily.”
Mother Sayer: “Sure you can, how long before I see you?”
Daughter Doyenne: “Give me 30 minutes.”
Mother Sayer: “I will see you soon then.”
Mother Sayer: (Summons her servants and commands them to prepare some finger food of tuna fish sandwiches and sparking water.) “My daughter will be her shortly, please prepare the food and bring it out to the patio.”
Daughter Doyenne: (She arrives and her mother’s staff shows her out to the patio.) “I cannot hide anything from you. There is a person at work that gets to me negatively too easy. I want to know why and more importantly, how do I counter the impact of the duress this person causes?”
Mother Sayer: “Tell me, what position do you hold in relation to his as it concerns who’s in authority.”
Daughter Doyenne: “I did not say it was a guy penetrating my defenses.” (Immediately Doyenne realizes she has put in use a tone her mother frowns upon. She attempts to recover her composure as her mother looks upon her sternly. This time, Doyenne thinks, this unsuitable tone is forgiven me. I will not get a second chance.)
Daughter Doyenne: “Apologies mother, I did not mean to address you in that tone.”
Mother Sayer: (Merely nods her clemency and with a touch on her daughter’s shoulder urges her to continue.)
Daughter Doyenne: “Mr. Johnson has a habit of yelling his disapproval when he feels his instructions are not followed precisely. I’ve spoken to him privately about the matter, but it seems he doesn’t feel the need to respect my request to change his way of addressing his staff.”
Daughter Doyenne: “Mr. Johnson is my supervisor’s immediate boss and he intervenes frequently in Mrs. Lewis, my supervisor’s department day to day assignments.”
Daughter Doyenne: “I am the only one that has stood up and asked him to stop, but he dismisses my objections to his behavior repeatedly.”
Mother Sayer: (Keenly observes her daughter’s composure, body language, and rising anger as she rehashes these incidents. She has heard enough to answer her daughter with advice relevant to solving her problem, but she waits patiently for her daughter to finish speaking her mind.)
Daughter Doyenne: “I know what you taught me about how to counteract people with destructive personalities, but I must have missed something along the way or didn’t really understand what you were teaching me.”
Mother Sayer: (Knows her daughter is in distress, but she will teach her adult child because Doyenne must still fight her own battles.) “I want you to relax and listen to me. What I’ve told you is theory until you put it into practice. Modifications are common in this world, as it must meet your specific needs. Apply the principle and shape it to your unique situation with this one supervisor.”
Mother Sayer: “What did I say about getting to know the players in each part of your life?”
Daughter Doyenne: “I need to know the players as I know myself. Their tendencies and agendas as it may affect my job and responsibilities. I must get to know their personalities and who is able to be trusted because wherever you are, potential allies must be accessed and judged worthy or unworthy.”
Mother Sayer: “Does it take time and effort to assess the job and all of its qualities good or bad.”
Daughter Doyenne: “Yes mother.” (She says this to her mother as exasperation fills the air. I know this and yet I thought I could function without it. What was I thinking to ignore my teachings so easily.)
Mother Sayer: (Never misses that moment when a wise individual realizes there is no shortcut to learning and evolving. She smiles slightly as she observes her daughter understanding she has some work to do.) “Don’t fret about it Doyenne. Everybody tries to shorten the timetables of life, but everybody, and I mean everybody, fails in that attempt.”
Daughter Doyenne: “You’re right mother. I got so caught up in letting him know he is disrespectful that I forgot to stay composed and analyze every situation to seek the right course of action.”
Mother Sayer: “If you learn that critical lesson, you will begin to grow your conscious. It will become attuned to every part of your life to serve you appropriately by not failing to catch you before you go astray.”
Mother Sayer: “Yes daughter, this man defeated you, but defeat happens to all champions. Learn from it and your losses will stay below your victories.”
Daughter Doyenne: “I understand mother. My reactions should represent my intelligence and never my emotions.”
Mother Sayer: “Remain in control at all times my child. Dismiss your anger as its’ sole purpose is to deplete your energy. Don’t succumb to the triggers that so easily befall strong women and men to act in ways that only destroy themselves to the amusement of agitators.”
Mother Sayer: “Tell me, what is my adage about us all being dirt.”
Daughter Doyenne: “We are all dirt taken and molded from a living planet. When I die, will the ground that I have walked over be left fertile or barren?”
Mother Sayer: (She smiles inside warmly as she knows her daughter will strive to do better. It certainly has been a pleasant visit with my daughter.)